Give Up Your Own Way
God has created you for Himself, but He will lead you by a way entirely different from what you imagine. He does this in order to destroy your self-love. This is accomplished ONLY as your purposes, preconceived ideas, natural reason and human wisdom are entirely overthrown.
Self-love hides in many places, and God alone can fine them all out. You seek the honor which comes from men, and love to occupy (self-perceived) important positions. God wants to reduce you to child-likeness. He wants you to depend on Him alone. Believe me, you will not grow in grace through reading books, hearing messages, or through human reason but only through an outpouring of God within you.
This outpouring will reach and fill you in the same degree that you are emptied of self. You are so busy, speaking, reading, writing, (working), (family), (church), that you have no time or place for God. Make room and God will come in. You speak of many cares. You have little or no lasting peace. If you will give yourself wholly to God these cares will diminish and you will find lasting peace.
God will think for you and arrange by His providence those things you could not accomplish even with long years of planning. In Gods name I beg you to renounce your own wisdom and self-leadings. Yield yourself up to God. Let Him become your wisdom. You will find a place of rest that you need so desperately. Take courage and be assured that if God destroys the self-nature, it is only so that He might give you Himself. Seek to be nothing so that God might be all. When you are empty God will fill you with Himself.